Here's a 🗝️ To a Better Life
Discover how revisiting and redefining key memories can help you align your self-image with your true self.
Hi there,
What’s been the highlight of your week so far?
Don’t miss today’s opportunity to become 1% better. 😊
If you get 1% better each day, you’ll end up with results nearly 37x better after a year.
🧠 On My Mind:
I spent some time reflecting on my childhood and the self-image developed in my formative years brought to you by Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, MD, FICS—a recommendation from my friend Veronica. Thanks, Vero!
Now, onto today's topic: Redefining Self-Image.
💭 A Memory Revisited:
When I was young, I loved playing with spray paint, a hammer, and nails. I often gathered wood from various places to create art. I worked hard on a piece, imagining it as a spaceship, and hid it under my bed because of its size. Once finished, I proudly wanted to share it with my dad. He was busy working, and when I interrupted him, he shushed me and sent me away. My mom, focused on keeping the house tidy, threw it away, seeing it as adding to the mess.
Back then, I couldn’t see things from my parents' perspective. I didn’t understand how difficult and how much energy it required to pay the bills, do the parenting thing, and keep the house clean. In my eyes, all I could see was that they didn’t love me or give me the attention I sought because I was not good enough.
🔍 The Why:
Our personality is a "system of ideas," all of which must seem consistent with one another. Ideas inconsistent with this system are rejected, while consistent ones are accepted.
For example, instead of saying “I failed that test,” which is factual and descriptive, I would say “I am a failure,” identifying and internalizing my mistakes and failures as my personality. Other common examples:
Instead of saying “I didn’t get the job,” I would say “I am unemployable”
Instead of saying “I made a mistake on the project,” I would say “I am incompetent.”
Instead of saying “I wasn’t invited to the event,” I would say “I am unlikable.”
For years, experiences like the one with my art fueled my belief that I wasn't good enough. I internalized these moments as failures rather than understanding the context of the moment.
🛠️ The How:
Here’s how anyone can redefine their self-image:
Reflect: Think about how you see yourself. Write down the qualities you believe define you.
Visualize: Picture your ideal self. What are the traits and habits of this person?
Bridge the Gap: Identify small, actionable steps to move from your current self-image to your ideal self.
Reinforce Positivity: Regularly remind yourself of your strengths and achievements. Celebrate small victories.
🕰️ When to Take Notice:
When you feel a strong emotional reaction to a situation.
When you find yourself avoiding certain tasks or opportunities.
When you hear yourself using negative self-talk.
🪞 Coaching: Reflecting Your True Self
Working with a coach can be transformative. Coaches act as mirrors, providing a safe space to explore these moments and question whether your memories are subjective. They help you see things from a different perspective, offering support as you redefine your self-image.
🏆 Transformative Moments:
By revisiting and redefining my memories, I experienced freedom!
I removed the weight of negative experiences.
I started transforming my self-image to align with my true self.
I built a positive, empowering self-perception.
"When you're older, you'll understand," - Parents
You guys had it right; now I’m able to understand why you acted the way you acted so many times.
I also have learned that those moments of early confusion in childhood can become huge obstacles later in life. That’s why we, as parents, have the opportunity to help our children understand even if we think they won’t. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and take the time to explain.
🎯 Action Step:
What's a memory that shaped your self-image? Hit reply and share your story with me!
Keep Going, Keep Growing
Your coach and friend,
Carlos
