The Secret You Should Know About Being Happy (Part 2)
Happiness is a habit, find out why it's important, when to find your thoughts and how to create the habit.
Hi there,
Let’s continue our conversation about happiness. Happiness requires problems and a mental attitude willing to take action toward solutions.
🧠 On My Mind:
“
The measure of mental health is the disposition to find good everywhere.”
This morning, I woke up at 4:30 AM, got ready, went to the gym, ran, and then came home to shower. I felt stronger and more motivated than ever. I saw my beautiful wife feeding our baby and felt blessed by our partnership. But during breakfast, things took a slight turn.
“Why do you always leave the brush in the sink?” my wife asked as I ate my toast.
“You are always on your phone when you’re with Kaia,” she said while I texted a client and bounced the baby with my foot.
I thought I brushed it off smoothly until the third comment came around,
“You never take my comments well.”
I went on full defense, “Can you please give me three examples of moments when I haven’t taken your comments well?”
Asking for examples to learn from my mistakes is my default protection mechanism and then I “punched back” with a comment that I knew would bother her.
“Perhaps you could comment differently….”
🔍 The Why:
I share with you this example because such circumstances occur in any setting and moment, at home, at work, and anywhere else.
My unpleasant thoughts could have led me down a rabbit hole of negativity, ultimately ruining part of my day.
Yet, by 8:47 AM, as I write this newsletter, my thoughts morph pleasantly into an opportunity to expose myself and hopefully inspire you to consider it’s you, not the circumstance or person.
Forming the habit of maintaining a goal-oriented mindset is intentional and requires action, it makes us human.
In striving to be the best partner and dad (my goal), my defense mechanism kicked in when I heard a comment that didn’t align with my self-image.
But I didn’t spend more than 20 minutes annoyed, avoiding, defending, attacking, or lamenting.
I reflected, embraced my reality, and returned to intentional decision-making, choosing a pleasant reflection and learning opportunity.
🕰️ When to Take Notice:
When having challenging conversations: Find the space between your inhalation and exhalation, pause, and reflect before reacting.
In moments of stress: Focus on opportunities rather than how this situation makes you feel. You are not the center of the universe.
When feeling overwhelmed: Take a step back and reassess your goals and values. Are you acting aligned with who you really are?
🏆 Transformative Moments:
I invite you to reflect on the feeling of pursuing an important goal in your life. When I talk about life I talk about life as a whole, career, finance, health, all these are life goals.
Now consider, how do you feel when you’re putting in the work?
How do you feel when you've achieved it?
Most importantly, how does it differ from the aftermath when you don't have a goal and are not working towards something anymore?
Actionable Tip:
This is how you win at life. Start with one moment of your day, until you feel you’ve won that day, then continue with the next day until it becomes a week and a week becomes a month.
♻️ Share this newsletter with someone who would benefit from it.
Keep Going, Keep Growing,
Your Coach and Friend,
Carlos
