The Secret You Should Know About Being Happy (Part 1)
We think better, perform better, feel better, and are healthier when we are happy.
Hi there,
This week I interviewed the finalists of the free coaching program. Thank you to all who participated! During the interviews, it became clear that most of us, if not all, want to feel happy in life, yet many of us choose not to feel that way.
Let's Talk About Happiness
Today, let's discuss developing the habit of happiness. Happiness is a mental habit, a mental attitude. If you haven’t learned it, you’ll find it difficult to experience happiness consistently.
🧠On My Mind:
Our perception is our truth, and we can choose how we define certain concepts. Here’s a definition of happiness that can make developing this habit easier:
“A state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant a good share of the time.”
Therefore, when you think pleasant thoughts, you are happy. When you think unpleasant thoughts, you are unhappy.
🔍 The Why:
Happiness is a mental habit that can be cultivated through practice.
“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.”
Often, we react to things that annoy, frustrate, and overwhelm us. Our reactions typically indicate dissatisfaction, resentment, and irritability, stemming from habits formed by past experiences interpreted as painful or damaging to our self-esteem.
Understanding this concept, do you believe you are the master or the slave of your thoughts?
🕰️ When to Take Notice:
Consider these common situations that may trigger unpleasant reactions. Reflect on your happiness level when these occur:
Personal Examples:
A driver honks while you are distracted.
Someone interrupts your story to tell theirs.
You receive critical feedback after a challenging project.
A friend cancels plans at the last minute.
Impersonal Examples:
It rains on the day you planned to go out.
There’s traffic when you need to catch a plane.
Your favorite dish is unavailable at a restaurant.
You receive an unexpectedly high bill.
These situations may or may not provoke unpleasant thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, for you but they often do for many of us.
🏆 Transformative Moments:
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
A common cause of unhappiness is living on a deferred payment plan: I’ll be happy when...
Examples of “when moments” include passing an exam, graduating, saving money, getting married, getting a better job, buying a house, or seeing children off to college.
Actionable Tip:
Make a list of your “I’ll be happy when...” and “because of...” moments. Reflect on whether your thoughts around these circumstances are pleasant or unpleasant.
We often choose unpleasant thoughts, creating a life we don’t enjoy now, constantly waiting for future events.
Consider this:
If you are to be happy at all, then be happy now, not when something happens or because of something.
Take action today: Reflect on how much of your day is spent on unpleasant thoughts versus pleasant ones.
Next week, we will discuss how to develop the habit of happiness, scientifically proven to improve memory, relaxation, creativity, and even internal organ functions.
♻️ Share this newsletter with someone who would benefit from it.
Keep Going, Keep Growing,
Your Coach and Friend,
Carlos
